Tuesday, January 31, 2012
I met you. I liked you. You seemed like the person who would love me, take care of me and never bear the sight of tears in my eyes. Besides being broad minded, you were fun loving, and I was sure that your good sense of humour would never let the smile on my face fade away.
It is very difficult to discuss something with someone who does not look at you when you are talking and who obviously shows no interest in having a conversation. And this is what I sensed last night, I don’t think that I put you off, I just think that you don’t want to listen what I have to say.It is difficult enough for me to express it and you do not make it easy either. So if I put it down in paper, I will say it in one go, and you can read it whenever you have the time.I just want to be open and talk frankly and have to be able to express what I need/want/think/feel, and if I can not do it with you, with whom I am expected to do it? This is what I always wanted for us. And this is also what it is missing in our relationship at the moment.So the conversation that it was not possible to have with you face to face, goes on paper.
If I am not the person, the woman you’ve expected me to be, if I am not good enough for you, then I am sorry if I’ve disappointed you. I feel miserable, I am very upset and now I can not deal with so much pain. I really need you all the time. As a wife it was my responsibility to be with you at every step of life and to understand your situations. No matter what the others were saying but I should support you without any question but instead of doing so I questioned you about your every action and I did not believe you. Sweetheart I know that I hurt you like anything but believe me it was not me but it was my insecurity who forcefully driven me to this situation. Although sorry is just a word but today it is the entire expression of my feelings )':
I was too afraid to tell you in person. And hence I am apologising to you in this way. I hope that you will forgive me. There have been moments prior to this when I have been furious with you for many mistakes which many a times were not even your fault. Today, I understand and I apologise for all those times )': If you read this darling, I am waiting for you to come and cuddle me with your warm love because then only I will be sure that my sorry is accepted by you )':
I love you )':
Monday, January 30, 2012
Oh, suma brand pon sale kauuu! Macam biasa lah, Sogo kan hari2 sale :p Aku beli jeans satu, cardigan, shirts & few blouses. Satisfied gila! ;) Faiz pulak beli shirts je sbb dye dah berlambak kemeja & ada yg xpkai pon lagi. Haih.
(Eleh, rasa hensem lettewww :p)
Taraa~~~~ Faiz offer nak belanja skin product sbb dye rasa muka aku mcm dah teruk sket since aku kerja kat site & mmg dah lama xpkai product apa2 (malas) & dah lama jugak xpergi buat facial. Mula2 aku mcm tanak, membazirlah katanya, konon malu2 kucing, haktuihh. Last2 pergi Clinique booth :p Consultant dye best & friendly sgt! Dye examine skin aku & suggest aku pkai few products lah yg suit skin aku. So, dye pick few bottles & total up = RM568.00 ohemjayyyyy! aku nmpak faiz telan air liuqqqqq :p :p :p hahahahahahahaha! (hamek kauuu!) Luckily, ada one product tu yg aku cut down sbb aku rasa kurang necessary kot. So, dapatlah murah sket. Hoyeahhh.
(Tekunnyerrrr akuuu. Poyo lettewww :p)
(Muka orang kena 'pow' Kesianyerrrr. Ololololo :p)
Yeaaayyyyyy! Thank you sayang! :*
*aku mmg mengesyorkan produk ni kepada wanita2 yg bermasalah kulit muka. serius produk nih best & insyaAllah berkesan. it's proven! baca kat internet hokayyy kalau nak tahu ;) aku suka sbb xde chemical! so natural :) pegi lah ke booth2 Clinique yg bdekatan utk mendapatkan khidmat nasihat :) eceh, promote siot! :p*
rumahtangga macam biasa, alhamudilillah. . rutin harian juga mcm biasa. . pergi kerja, balek kerja. . cuma banyak yang perlu aku belajar lepasni sbb aku dah buat keputusan untuk resign atas beberapa faktor kukuh! aku rasa ini yg terbaik buat aku dan faiz :) semoga pengalaman bekerja dgn TRC dapat menjadi bekalan buat aku bila berada di company yg lain. .
for the time being, aku xbercadang utk bekerja di mana2. sbb faiz suruh duduk rumah dulu 2, 3 bulan. . menjalani rutin harian seorang surirumah! juga nak settlekan bberapa perkara. . semoga Allah sentiasa mempermudah urusan aku dan faiz, insyaAllah :)
oh, btw aku baru check result exam tadi. sedikit kecewa kerana xcapai dekan yg aku impikan. tapi aku masih bersyukur :') terima kasih xterhingga pada semua yg sentiasa mberi sokongan, terutama pada faiz yg xpernah jemu mendorong aku yg pemalas nih :p pada kaksu (classmate) yg sentiasa bagi aku info2 penting. hikhik :D love youuu!
kurang dari bberapa hari lg aku akan pegi bcuti dgn faiz. aku mmg mnunggu saat2 itu sbb aku dah lama xde quality moment dgn faiz )': dan sejujurnya aku tgh stress skrg dgn bberapa masalah yg mndatang. tapi aku percaya dgn aturan Allah, aku percaya dengan dugaan Allah kali ni walau hakikat sebenarnya aku sedih & terpaksa pasrah )':
semoga aku dan faiz sentiasa tabah. doakan kami ya :')