Tuesday, January 31, 2012

love letter.

The man,
I married.

I met you. I liked you. You seemed like the person who would love me, take care of me and never bear the sight of tears in my eyes. Besides being broad minded, you were fun loving, and I was sure that your good sense of humour would never let the smile on my face fade away.

It is very difficult to discuss something with someone who does not look at you when you are talking and who obviously shows no interest in having a conversation. And this is what I sensed last night, I don’t think that I put you off, I just think that you don’t want to listen what I have to say.It is difficult enough for me to express it and you do not make it easy either. So if I put it down in paper, I will say it in one go, and you can read it whenever you have the time.I just want to be open and talk frankly and have to be able to express what I need/want/think/feel, and if I can not do it with you, with whom I am expected to do it? This is what I always wanted for us. And this is also what it is missing in our relationship at the moment.So the conversation that it was not possible to have with you face to face, goes on paper.

If I am not the person, the woman you’ve expected me to be, if I am not good enough for you, then I am sorry if I’ve disappointed you. I feel miserable, I am very upset and now I can not deal with so much pain. I really need you all the time. As a wife it was my responsibility to be with you at every step of life and to understand your situations. No matter what the others were saying but I should support you without any question but instead of doing so I questioned you about your every action and I did not believe you. Sweetheart I know that I hurt you like anything but believe me it was not me but it was my insecurity who forcefully driven me to this situation. Although sorry is just a word but today it is the entire expression of my feelings )':

I was too afraid to tell you in person. And hence I am apologising to you in this way. I hope that you will forgive me. There have been moments prior to this when I have been furious with you for many mistakes which many a times were not even your fault. Today, I understand and I apologise for all those times )': If you read this darling, I am waiting for you to come and cuddle me with your warm love because then only I will be sure that my sorry is accepted by you )':

I love you )':

Your tear.

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